Special Report: Tiger is Not at a Sex Rehab Clinic in Mississippi

If you have been following ZealousGolfer.com over the past day, you probably tracked the expedition of a group of amateur paparazzi in New Orleans.

The team set out yesterday on a hunt for a highly elusive picture of Tiger Woods. Indeed, the first photo of Tiger (after rumors emerged that he is currently in a sex rehabilitation facility) is estimated to be worth between $300,000 and $500,000!

At any rate, the group returned to Louisiana early this morning without a picture or a hope of receiving half of a million dollars as a reward. So no picture.

However, the next best thing might be intell on Tiger's whereabouts. As you can see in this video published by ESPN this morning, the prominent theory seems to be that Tiger is a resident at the Pine Grove hospital in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

Despite the increasingly widespread belief that Tiger has settled in Mississippi temporarily, the evidence from last night suggests otherwise.

In my view, Tiger is elsewhere for several reasons:

1. Security was not particularly strong. Essentially, the team managed to not only walk onto the grounds of the hospital, but they actually entered the facility for a short period of time.

Think about any golf tournament you have attended or seen on TV. David Duval is better protected than that. Tiger is one of the most controversial public figures on earth at this moment, and you are telling me that anyone can stroll the grounds? Get real. [EDIT: I have added the pictures of Kevin, Matt, Ross, and Xiao on location. Take a look. However, a few of them are pretty blurry].

Meanwhile, a global search is underway for Tiger's location. Paparazzi who have stalked celebrities for years are presumably on the case. In light of this threat, I would guess that security would be a bit more challenging if the hospital was really hiding a very powerful client.

2. The media presence at the hospital has been exaggerated by numerous reports. As you can see in the articles I discussed yesterday, the rumor was that paparazzi are taking the Mississippi rumor very seriously and have converged on Hattiesburg.

The reports I received from the scene last night suggest otherwise. The amateurs were the only ones lurking around or nearby the area. That sounds a little unusual for the professional stalkers who have left Britney Spears in fits of rage.

3. There is little evidence supporting Pine Grove as Tiger's location to begin with. Other than hearsay from a few experts, no one has received a solid reason to believe that Tiger is (or was) present on Pine Grove's grounds.

For these reasons, I am increasingly skeptical of the Hattiesburg rumor. Perhaps my assumptions about how hospitals and paparazzi operate are unreasonable. I just don't see it.

If you are on the "Where in the world is Tiger Woods" search, good luck with that.

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